An Update (of sorts…)
[I have been posting monthly updates on my personal Facebook page for the past few months, but because I’m so proud of my writing and really trying to gain some traction as I work on my next book, I’ve decided to switch to sharing them on my author page first. Please consider subscribing here or over on Substack]
I’ve been actively trying to lose weight since April 1st of this year. I’ve seen success, as has been documented in the subsequent months. I was really hoping to continue the trend through August, but life had other plans.
I’ve struggled with depression for as long as I can remember. It creeps up on me, always lurking somewhere, ready to envelop me at any moment. Some people blame body chemistry. Some people blame their parents. Some people blame circumstances. Me? I always end up blaming myself.
I can’t go into details, but life has been really hard, lately. It’s one thing to have one aspect of your life going well, it’s another to have every aspect of your life seem to cascade into chaos without notice at all. It’s when those things happen that I spin out of control.
[Before you ask, Michelle, the kids, and I are fine. There’s no dumpster fire at home, at least for now]
And when things spin out of control, I eat. I eat a lot.
I am not completely off of the Weight Watchers program (I’m still paying for it, at least for the past month.), but I stopped tracking things. I eat mostly the same things that I was eating when on program, but the consequences of not taking into account the cost of some food items (point or calorie wise) seems to be catching up to me. I have yet to gain any weight back, but I’m still hovering at the same weight I was when I posted my last update.
I guess that’s a little victory, right? I haven’t gained, but I have yet to lose more. I’ve settled. But settling isn’t enough, is it? Especially when I’m still 50lbs away from my goal.
Given the cost of the app, I have to cancel Weight Watchers, but now I have to just be disciplined and start saying no. But sometimes, sometimes the sadness goes away when I’m eating that cookie. Or ice cream sandwich. A momentary glass of water in the midst of the dumpster fire. “This is fine” the dog says, while the world around him is ablaze.
This is fine. Pass the cookies.
[I’m doing fine, by the way. I’m still sad, but it’s not a crippling sadness. It’s just a valley. And really, I’m fine.]
Hi. I don't know you at all. I'm just another stranger on the far side of the world who found your post about circle slide. I also have a wife named Michelle. I also was on a weight loss quest.
You might have a billion well meaning people telling you what worked for them and for good or bad I'm another one. I've been keto for five years and been at or about target weight for years. It's easy. I lost my sweet tooth. It's a bit more difficult with family and kids but it's a very healthy way to eat for everybody. But it's sustainable as a way of life.
Well that's my two cents. I still listen to circle slide occasionally....and my other fave album from that era, the chasing furies.